Danny Gokey Gets Real About Counseling

Danny Gokey Gets Real About Counseling

In this heartfelt conversation with Sandi, Danny Gokey shares a powerful message about prioritizing “soul care”, balancing family life, and ensuring that his work is fruitful, not just busy.

From spending intentional time with family to seeking guidance for inner healing, Danny talks about how he has navigated this past year of rest and renewal.



View this video with Danny Gokey, and other interviews with JOY FM artists videos on the JOY FM YouTube Channel.


Read this Conversation

Sandi:
For those that don’t know. How many kids do you have?

Danny Gokey:
We have four kids. They’re here with us today.

Sandi:
Are they really?

Danny Gokey:
My wife and kids are with us. Yeah, they’re on the bus.

Sandi:
Oh, fun.

Danny Gokey:
Yeah.

Sandi:
Three days is all you guys can match up calendars?

Danny Gokey:
I was looking, there’s seriously so many things happening and this year I didn’t tour in the spring so I could have more time off. It’s crazy how things just pick up and they go.

Sandi:
What have you been doing?

Danny Gokey:
That’s the thing. I don’t know. What have I been doing? Making albums, releasing albums.

Sandi:
You’re like, “What do you mean? What have I been doing?”

Danny Gokey:
No, but seriously, when you think about it, it was fun to stay home a little bit. Our goal is not to be busy, our goal to be fruitful. Right?

Sandi:
So good.

Danny Gokey:
And so this year I took time off just to say, “Lord, am I being fruitful?” I really wanted to know. I could be doing a lot, but it could be… Jesus said… all these people said all these things, “I did this for you, this for you,” and Jesus’ like, “I didn’t know you.” I mean, I don’t want to be in that place. Sometimes we got to pause, take a step back and say, “Am I doing your will?” And so that’s what I did. And it’s not like I hear audible voices. I don’t. But I leaned in, asked the right questions, took time off, spent time with the family, even did some inner healing work. I think that’s always living in life, you just get hit. Our souls take hits from disappointments and hurts and unanswered prayers and things, our own mindset and our own emotions. And so I took some time off to just do some healing in the soul.

Sandi:
Can I ask what does that look like? I’m sure just being around family is good for you, being plugged into your people, maybe not setting the alarm. I mean, some of those things are good, but what does it look like for you to be intentional about some soul care?

Danny Gokey:
Well, for me, we grew up thinking that if you couldn’t solve it at the altar or everything should be solved at altar, if you couldn’t, it’s like, well, then it’s you right? You’re the problem. But sometimes we just have blind spots. And so one of the things that I did this year was begin to ask people who are in… who have connections to counselors. So for instance, the American Association of Christian Counselors. I know that guy. I’ve been in circles with him, and I hit him up and I said, “Hey, can you help me with this? I didn’t know what to do with this part of my life, but I want some advice and I want some help.” And he took me under his wing personally because he represents 100,000 counselors or whatever, and connecting with some right people. And then I was able to start opening up and just sharing.

Sandi:
So good.

Danny Gokey:
And getting professional, not just meek… they can see the blind spots, put it that way. And really, when you ask for help, the Bible says that God gives grace to the humble. So grace is his ability to do whatever he’s asking you to do. Grace goes to the humble. So it takes humility. And so that’s what I had to do.

Sandi:
I am so proud of you. It takes so much courage from one who has been in counseling, it takes so much courage to say, “I want to know what I don’t know, and I want help with the things I can’t figure out on my own.” I’m so proud of you.

Danny Gokey:
Yeah. How many years did you spend in that journey? Because you have the book Healing Out Loud. How long did you spend in that healing process?

Sandi:
At least a year in counseling. But it’s an ongoing journey right?

Danny Gokey:
It is.

Sandi:
You revisit things and you… Yeah.

Danny Gokey:
Because that’s why Bible says guard your heart because if you don’t guard your heart, then those wounds can come back up or those offenses or those hurts, disappointments. And so it’s all about just staying humble, staying moldable, staying teachable, and not becoming hardened to life. And so asking for help and healing, I’m learning. It’s a everyday process. Listen, if you have a busy schedule today and you’re like, “Oh, I got so much to do,” you probably should spend your first three hours in prayer and not go doing it because I think that’s how we hurt ourselves. I know I’m a doer right? Get it done. Performer. But I think that’s part of the reasons why we kind of end up with disappointments and things because in our own strength, we’re so limited.

Sandi:
Man, I’m so glad we got here right now. There’s just something… yeah, there’s a comfort, a contentment in that I’m seeing in you today. It’s just really good.

Danny Gokey:
I appreciate that. Thank you.

Sandi:
Yeah, it really is good. From one doer to another, from one chaser to another.

Danny Gokey:
[inaudible 00:03:59].

Sandi:
Oh man, it is so good.

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